Lottie Moss Has Got The Lot: 10/10 to the Letter

The greenYgrey world is still a hive of activity today after the shock announcement of a third princess. Royal correspondents had grown accustomed to the idea of a Kate dynasty, with Princess Kate, the first in line, taking over from Queen Kate Moss. However, now with the arrival of KM’s half-sister on the scene, royal correspondents have to consider the possibility that it could be a Moss dynasty rather than a Kate one.

Lot More to Lottie Moss than Looks

I think were (sic) going to be hearing a lot more about Lottie Moss in the future; reminding me of a Meatloaf album title I saw and liked recently, The Future Ain’t What It Used To Be; but for now we’ve just got some more comedy wordplay.

There’s a saying in the greenYgrey world that goes something like, Behind every successful model there’s a greenYgrey, and that certainly rings true for Lottie Moss:

Image result for lottie moss imagesImage result for lottie moss imagesImage result for lottie moss images

Lottie Moss greenYgrey Credentials

While it’s obvious that Lottie Moss has 10/10 greenYgrey world princess looks, only probably the most eagle-eyed greenYgreyliens of the most experienced comedy wordplay kind will have noticed that her name has a nice greenYgrey ring to it, and even ten letters like the greenYgrey.

Luckily for you, our royal scribes have studied Lottie’s name for you, and here bring you their findings. While the ie ending to the forename and four-letter surname, combining to 10 letters, provide a great greenYgrey sound, there the exact similarities end, with Lottie Moss having a four vowels and six consonants name to the greenYgrey’s three-seven. Moreover, Lottie Moss and greenYgrey only share one letter, an e.

This has been a greenYgrey parody comedy production. For much more of the same, see our hat-trick book of the year, 2015, 2016 and 2017:

Available to buy or borrow on Amazon and some great big bookshops.

You Are The Boss of Your Own Happiness: 50 Ways to Change Your Life Today by Theo Kay. $3.99 from Smashwords.com

Should Our Queen Abdicate?

Be were (sic): This blog may contain royal family and celebrity models parody comedy.

Royal family histories are known for their intrigue, often involving parents and siblings. Our Queen, Kate Moss, already has two princesses, Princess Kate and Deserving Princesshood Cressida, and now Queen Kate’s half-sister Lottie seems ready to throw her hat into the ring; or should that be mitten…

Image result for MITTEN IMAGES

… with current beau Alex Mytton seeming to send a clear greenYgrey message in this image:

Wildlife is Free: fourYfive Forget Fur For New Readymade Art

Wildlife is Free is a simple slogan, but I Googled it, and didn’t find it, so am showcasing it here, with four images I just saw on a MSN News story, creatively crafted into a greenYgrey-relevant readYmade to celebrate the centennial anniversary of Marcel Duchamp’s most famous toilet to fountain artwork, which is considered the most important twentieth century creation by many aficionados.

Wildlife is Free Double Meaning

Wildlife is Free works as a double meaning, as much surreal art consists of juxtaposing different items or ideas:

  1. Animals living in the wild are free
  2. Animals living in the wild are free for humans to see

While some animal welfare activists don’t want any animals to be in ‘human captivity’, I take a more greenYgrey attitude to it, thinking that in the current global situation for animals some are better off protected in captivity, and that they act as ambassadors for future generations, as I recently heard them described in a wildlife park.

Anyway that’s enough written art, and here’s some artistic images carefully crafted into a great new greenYgrey readymade:

Slide 7 of 25: Alicia SilverstoneSlide 11 of 25: Christian SerratosSlide 25 of 25: In this photo released Wednesday, Nov. 11, 2009, by The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, shows Atlanta Falcons' Tony Gonzalez and his wife October posing nude for an animal rights ad campaign.
Slide 18 of 25: Kelly Brook

Available to buy or borrow on Amazon and some great big bookshops.

You Are The Boss of Your Own Happiness: 50 Ways to Change Your Life Today by Theo Kay. $3.99 from Smashwords.com

Valentine Love 20: London Fashion Show POP Front Page

It seems incredible that were (sic) just over a year into the POP (PinkyOrangePop) age, as it’s already most fashionable amongst the most fashionable. The Times front page led on a paramount POP setting from the London Fashion Show this morning:

Ethical Clothes, Avoiding Fur

I was delighted to read that Stella McCartney (chief inspiration for legendary greenYgrey world fashionista suprema and XaW Files star, Stella Lagerwolf-Bruno), Tommy Hilfiger and Calvin Klein are not using fur in their fashion, after signing a petition against the use of fur on Change.org.

Please don’t buy fur because I don’t like it, as it’s not me that suffers the poor conditions and probably pain of death. I don’t know if fur I see is faux or real, and presume it’s the former.

Visiting the humanYstella world, I was delighted to see a retro greenYgrey love headline intro:

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Don’t worry POPolutionaries, Stella hasn’t forgotten about POP:

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Balanced Debating, greenYgrey Style

I know that I’m being fussy in a way, because I like furry animals more than those that provide leather, although I haven’t bought leather for years either, buying my last pair of shoes at Vegetarian Shoes.

If rabbits are dying for meat then I suppose you might as well use the fur, although I’d rather they weren’t used for either, but when it comes to larger animals, such as foxes, wolves and lynx that aren’t eaten, being kept only for fur production, I’m definitely totally against it.

For a fashionable ethical balanced fiction fantasy, visit the XaW world with the greenYgrey world’s motley crew of creatures, and trendy Stella:

Available to buy or borrow on Amazon and some great big bookshops.

You Are The Boss of Your Own Happiness: 50 Ways to Change Your Life Today by Theo Kay. $3.99 from Smashwords.com
50 Ideas for you to change your life today. You are the boss of your own HAPPINESS!

Valentine Love 15: Comedy Wordplay Coincidence

I was thinking about Valentine’s Day yesterday, as you probably guessed; well, all month really, in a parody comedy way. Yesterday, I really thought about comedy wordplay for the first time.

Val in Tyne-and-Wear?

Is there a Val in Tyne-and-Wear reading? If there is, then I thought of you yesterday… or your name and location anyway. That’s because Valentine can loosely be dissected into Val in Tyne… while Wear wordplays with the Were theme of the greenYgrey.

The greenYgrey was originally just a wolf, with the were theme added for the Werewolf of Oz second of the landmark trilogy first ever travel questing by web maps, such as Google.

Apart from the Motley Crue/Alice Cooper attendees my favourite greenYgreying AAW from the north-east is Lilly the Stripper, who starred in a documentary about strippers three years ago… about the same time Love the mixed-up vole was born in the greenYgrey world!

Apart from her beauty, she really did impress with her femininity, intelligence and pride in her work, appearance and life – ambition. I hope she achieved her glamour model dream.

That doesn’t mean I think her vocation is ideal, and I don’t recommend it to any impressionable people, as I’ve heard it can be cut-throat, cynical and problematic. I have just as much respect for somebody working in a minimum wage job, as I do myself!

Volentine: Other Side of greenYgrey

On second thoughts, after Val-in-Tyne, I remembered our Love, how it’s a vole, and then thought it is only an o-a different to the first four letters of Vale-ntine. So I looked up volentine, and the search just brought up Erin Volentine, who is a great greenYgreying AAW in a different way to Lilly.

Erin Volentine promotes healthy eating on YouTube, Google+ and other social media websites. Here she is gYgPOPing in one of many videos including green, yellow, grey and PinkyOrangePurple:

Photo

You could say Lilly and Erin represent the grey and green of greenYgrey!.. if you’re thinking in a self-proclaimed genius kind of way!! Lilly is more my background, while Erin is more my current life philosophy.

Please don’t ask me to choose who I like best, Erin or Lilly. It’s like asking the greenYgrey Y to choose between its green and grey!.. or Love the mixed-up vole to descend from its higher form!!

Available to buy or borrow on Amazon and some great big bookshops.

You Are The Boss of Your Own Happiness: 50 Ways to Change Your Life Today by Theo Kay. $3.99 from Smashwords.com
50 Ideas for you to change your life today. You are the boss of your own HAPPINESS!

Valentine Love 8: When 8 is Twice 16

While I haven’t tested it with mathematical accuracy, I think I have about twice as much love for women’s size 8 figure as size 16. As size 16 is supposed to be the average in the U.K. that shows my dilemma!

Women’s Figures None of My Business

I know that women’s figures are none of my business, and their look is their choice, and sometimes they don’t have a choice, with health issues preventing exercise. I’m not trying to insult or cast judgement on women with bigger figures, just proclaim my love for the figures I like.

Slimmer women face pressures and insults too, some to the point of getting cosmetic surgery to make themselves look bigger, inspired by celebrities like Katie Price and Kim Kardashian! So I’ll leave the men who like hour-glass figures or bigger to compliment those women, while I’ll support the sleek and sophisticated look.

Here’s the queen of fashion, and Queen of the greenygrey/POP world, highlighting it in more ways than one (hair too – brunette and blonde), along with a couple of models modelling her range in different sizes, which look similar to me!:

Image result for size 8 fashion

Size 8 to Size 0

While I once joked that if women’s size 8s were getting baggy they should eat more, the model look such as seen used by Victoria’s Secret,  which I presume is size 0, still looks healthy and strong.

Image result for Victoria's Secret Pink

However, I think that size 8 is a more achievable aim for the average woman, if they so desire. Models are probably like professional athletes, being paid lots of money to look that way, and having to watch what they eat and how they train all the time.

Not a Body Fascist

I got into weights/bodybuilding as  a youth, trying to get as big as possible, partly inspired by Schwarzenegger and Stallone, who were big stars at the time, which is the opposite of what most women try to do.

I got up to 14 stones weight (196 pounds, 89 kg), before reaching a plateau. I was glad to get away from it when I went travelling, but kept exercising. I did weights whenever home, as had them in my bedroom, and continued in university using the cheap gym.

Then I switched to running long distances in 2003, mostly inspired by Jane Tomlinson and Paula Radcliffe, and that was my main exercise interest until finishing my marathons ambition last year.

Middle-Aged Muddlement

Now, I want to try and keep a good balance between fitness and strength, keeping active and strong in my middle-age. I do this for myself more than ever, inspired more by Shaolin monks than California bodybuilders now.

I hope that I can still please some women, as I am still a human amongst humanity; and don’t care if I please some men too, if that’s what they like; I hope I don’t displease men and women who don’t like exercise or fit people, and who call us names just as much or more than they are called names themselves.

While I’m not writing this to attract women, and think it’ll offend much more, I would just add that a woman’s figure is only really important to me for the initial spark (of love). If they put a bit of weight on afterwards it wouldn’t be grounds for separation!

If they put lots of weight on without caring about it, it might make me think about ending it, if there were no children etc involved. Those are just my truthful thoughts, perhaps sounding shallow, and not what a woman wants to hear, and as a man who believes in equality and freedom of thought/speech, you are entirely free to think, say and write what you like about me. You won’t change my mind though!

Please buy my books to save me from going back to a workplace… unless it’s the Victoria’s Secret modelling agency, or somewhere similar… when I would be partly there to look at women!

Available to buy or borrow on Amazon and some great big bookshops.

You Are The Boss of Your Own Happiness: 50 Ways to Change Your Life Today by Theo Kay. $3.99 from Smashwords.com
50 Ideas for you to change your life today. You are the boss of your own HAPPINESS!

Messi Victoria’s Secret Panties

Warning: this blog post contains satirical self-parody humour a-were (sic) that it offers my Negatives plenty of opportunity to demonise me. Brave or foolish, maybe both?! The self-parody exaggerates a truth: I would like to meet any or all Victoria’s Secret models, but don’t expect to!

I consider it to be in the greenYgrey middle, too left for the right, and right for the left, and not out of place on the Beeb’s Have I Got News For You, where I enjoy both Ian Hislop and Paul Merton’s satirical contributions.

The Funny Side

I was heart-warmed by the story of Lionel Messi inviting an Afghan boy to be his ball-boy, after his makeshift plastic bag Messi shirt went viral.

Photo of Murtaza in his homemade shirt

Murtaza joined a close-to-full-strength Barcelona team before their win over Al-Ahli

Then I thought, if I make some makeshift Victoria Secret panties, and wear them online, will they invite me to one of the Victoria Secret’s panty parties I’ve seen advertised?

Panties at VS

 

 

 

 

 

There Was A Time when it would have been a Guns N’ Roses t-shirt or Leeds United football shirt, but AAW-WOW have been paramount in my mind the last decade of greenYgreying, and the POPolution more recently. The Victoria’s Secret angels were like AAW-WOW becoming a reality!

One idea I had for performance self-parody was to go and demonstrate outside my local Victoria’s Secret store: calling for it to be bigger!

I have never got around to performing it, or been inside the store… or even passed it for ages!!

The Serious Positives

The serious positives for me I extrapolate from the above comedy, is that Messi and the Afghan boy’s story are a good meeting of what I presume are different religions, probably both deriving from the Middle-East where the meeting took place, although Messi and the boy are both from a lot west and east of there, showing I can look on the positives of such events, rather than being a double negative.

Victoria’s Secret models are a multi-ethnic group, and all beautiful. The models are also probably from multiple cultures, but they are united under the one Victoria’s Secret umbrella culture.

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However, while they are all beautiful, and I expect everybody will have their own tastes as to which is most beautiful, and I don’t expect any to fancy or desire me, I prefer the white blonde ones, and would feel more comfortable with them; that’s not racist, it’s personal taste; especially after the last twenty years of multicultural fascism that have led to heightened racial tensions, and some white girls scared to say no because they fear being called racist… and my fellow distant-origins-Leeds-United fan and Gladiator star Russell Crowe’s experiences with Azealia Banks!

The difference between a blonde and a brunette for me is that if I was with a brunette I might still be thinking-about/missing blondes, whereas if I was with a blonde I probably wouldn’t be thinking-about/missing brunettes! I know it’s only hair, and not that important, but blonde hair can brighten the day for a someone who thinks they’re bipolar like me… especially through the often greenYgrey winter!

I know you can’t give me what I really really want for Christmas, but the next best thing would be for you to buy my book… but only if you really really want to, as otherwise it’s a waste of valuable paper!

Available to buy or borrow on Amazon and some great big bookshops.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/XaW-Files-Beyond-Humanity-Fantasy/dp/1516969065/