X-Files Parody Better Christmas Present than Almost Anything

After mentioning it is the century anniversary of Marcel Duchamp’s Fountain readymade next year, I can now announce that we reached the century of XaW Files episodes in their serialisation last time, and this time we reach the half-way point in the 202 episodes.

This is also the first blog post of me in a new age of being Living Art History, rather than just Living History.

X-Files Inspiration

For those new to the blog and book, it was structured around the X-Files series and episodes up to its writing, which preceded the new series that followed this book. I don’t know if this book inspired the new X-Files series, but it’s a big coincidence otherwise. The truth is out there..!

There are the exact amount of XaW Files episodes within each chapter, and chapters within the book, as there were X-Files episodes within the series, and series within the franchise.

Thematically, the book is an X-Files parody, so uses the X-Files idea without taking it too seriously, and doesn’t follow the series much at all. A few of the characters feature, while the greenYgrey protagonist could be consider a combination of Mulder and Scully; or scullYmulder greenYgrey style.

Time for Love 

I mentioned the above after reading Love setting it out in the book, self-proclaimed cleverly showing the reader, rather than telling them, in line with good writing practise I learnt from a decade of creative writing research.

I tell you here because most casual readers won’t know about it, as I don’t know much about other industries. If you want to race ahead of my introductions, please read all the book now.

There’s still time to Rage Against the X-Factor (especially now Honey G is out!) Machine big corporate publishers, and put XaW Files at the top of the best sellers charts for Christmas!

Not that I’m necessarily against big publishers, and think they do a good job most of the time. I am especially open to offers by Penguin, after Grey learnt to speak Penguinese in the Werewolf of Oz epic ramble across Australia with the little penguins of Kangaroo Island; it was the second of the new concept of fantasy travel by Google Maps, and probably the second best.

penguins  werewolf of oz

Chapter 5 Episode 4

‘I love rambling with you,’ said Love, ‘but could I just offer one suggestion for this chapter.’

‘Yes, of course Love,’ I replied, ‘I know this is your first ramble, but I value your opinion and like to be as democratic as possible.’

‘Well, I was thinking that you could try and keep to time this chapter, to show you can do it,’ continued Love, ‘it’s been fun to travel freely, not worrying much about time until the end of the chapters, and then the mad rush to finish is quite exhilarating, but maybe this time, just this once, we could try and keep to the 2.85 episodes per country that this chapter’s seven countries in twenty episodes averages.’

‘I think you’re on to something there Love,’ I replied, ‘and this is quite a pivotal chapter, being the fifth of nine, the middle one, like the Y of greenYgrey, only even more central. Moreover, come to think about it, after a little while I must admit, I do believe this is the actual middle episode of the 202, with 97 in the first four chapters, and this being the fourth of this one, that makes it the 101st episode. If I can get this one right, then I can justify my lacklustre timekeeping in the previous chapters, and relax about it for the second half of this third and final ramble.’

Shouting Searching to Stella Space

‘No problem, I’m not just a pretty face you know. Maybe we could try and tell Stella our plans. Greece is just over there,’ said Love pointing.

‘That’s a good idea Love,’ I replied, ‘let’s have a look at Google Maps to see where we could plan to meet.’

So we looked at Google Maps, and decided a perfect place we could meet was Kumanovo in the north of Macedonia, giving us all a chance to see Macedonia before we’re due to leave in Episode 6.


Then we trekked to the south-eastern shore, standing outside the Ruined Church, and shouted to Stella: ‘Come on over to Kumanovo, we’re hoping to be there in two episodes time, with two the sum of seven from nine, which is how many chapters there are in this ramble, but we’re not travelling forward to Chapter 9 and then taking seven away, to go back to Chapter 2, although the Baltic States were lovely and bring back fond memories, we’re just hoping to be in Kumanovo in two episodes.’

Stranger on the Shore

Sitting in the sun relaxing with snakes. They’d welcomed us with open coils. They said they knew they had a bad reputation in the werewolf world, but were okay when left alone. Now they had this island to themselves they were no trouble to anyone.

Then we saw a rowing boat approaching from the east, and I thought it might be Stella, having made the journey in interstellar time. However, my hopes were dashed when I saw it was a male form on closer inspection.

One snake who’d introduced himself as Sid started hissing, which sounded rather ominous. I asked him why he was hissing. Sid stopped hissing for long enough to tell me it was Hitar Petar on the boat, and he was known for being as wily as Wil E. Coyote.


Hissing Sid was a character in Jeremy Lloyd’s Captain Beaky books.
Hitar Petar: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitar_Petar

Available to buy or borrow on Amazon and some great big bookshops.



One thought on “X-Files Parody Better Christmas Present than Almost Anything

  1. Pingback: Macedonia Nature Travel and Comedy Wordplay Poetry | greenygrey3

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