X Files Parody Comedy gets Carried Away Cheesy in Latvia

We let the cat out the bag
Episode 14 suffered time lag
appearing on the blog after 15
obviously not used to gYg routine
so here’s the next thrilling instalment
full of comedy poetry I hope you’ll like a lot…

Hi, it’s G.G. Howling, fiction writing correspondent at the greenYgrey inspired by legendary Harry Potter wizard writer J.K. Rowling. Yes, eagle-eyed greenYgreyliens might have spotted this very post already in the greenYgrey world.

So with the cat out the bag, and thankfully not in Love the mixed-up vole’s, where greenYgrey is currently residing as a block of caraway cheese, here’s the prose – poetry chapter – episode of the X Files parody comedy fantasy ramble across all regions of Eurasia you may already have seen:

Chapter 2 Episode 15: Love Looms Large in Latvia

‘We’re in Strenci,’ Love said, ‘which is quite apt with you all stenchy in your current mature caraway cheese shape. It’s just over the Estonia – Latvia border.’

‘I’m sorry you can’t see the wonderful unspoilt countryside. Latvia still has 20% of its land forested; has wolves, bears and lynx; as well as herds of wild horses and bison.’

‘I’m just heading down to Cesis now, as I hear it has got a great medieval castle nearby. I’ll let you know when we get there.’

Cesis Castle

Love seemed to walk a long time. I guessed it wasn’t that far for a human in a vehicle, but for a vole shapeshifted to mouse it was probably quite a marathon. I tried to lie back and leisurely enjoy the outer feeling of travel, and my own inner maturing.

Then after what seemed an eternity,
but was probably only an hour or three,
Love lifted me up to the sky,
the fresh air made me feel I could fly,
blowing away all the cobwebs,
I heard ‘beware the crex crex,’
‘Thank you,’ Love told a lutra lutra
the Latin name for a European otter
but then I felt something grab my top
and I really did feel like I was lifting off
‘crex crex, you crazy corn crake,’ shouted Love,
before the last I heard was ‘o for the wings of a dove.’

Corn Crake Carry

I guessed I was being carried in the air by a corn crake, whose Latin name is crex crex. They are endangered in most countries, but common in Latvia.

We flew for five minutes or so; that’s how it felt anyway, but I had already given up trying to keep time in line with the human world. Cheese time seems so gorgonzola it goes slower.

Crex Crex Gives Me a Break

Corn Crake (Crex Crex)

We came to rest in what felt like a nice comfortable grass leaves nest.The corn crake seemed happy, repeatedly krek-kreking, as if announcing a welcome addition to the family and community.

I really felt like a big cheese now.

Having matured well during the journey, and with nothing else to do but listen and absorb, I thought I began to understand what crex crex was crying.

‘I’m having triplets,’ I thought I understood C4 say, ‘I always wanted triplets, and now my dream is finally coming true. Deary me, I do dote on dairy!’

Caraway Cheese Contemplation

I wondered if it meant me, and where the other two big cheeses were if so, but then felt a sharp peck, which broke me into three pieces; two big ones and one small, like the Green and Grey held together by Y that we normally are.

I thought what a fine mess we were in, reminding us of meeting Stan and Ollie early in our original ramble across North America.

We were originally supposed to be looking for our AWOL head honcho of greenYgrey creation, and then trying to meet up with our fashionista suprema in Riga, but now we’d lost our mixed-up vole companion and were split into three pieces of cheese!

Once we’d got used to our new reality, we had time to think up this soliloquy:

They say the world’s your oyster
so I recommend not treating it as a cloister
I think the more you know its wonder
the better prepared when torn asunder
if your pieces ever go off in all directions
you’ll be more able to hold onto your sections
and haul them back to where they belong
finishing with the tongue to sing this song.

Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.

Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.


One thought on “X Files Parody Comedy gets Carried Away Cheesy in Latvia

  1. Pingback: Poem Travelling Serbia Through Wikipedia | greenygrey3

Comments are closed.