X Files Comedy Parody Reveals The Idiot

The fiction is forming fick and fast in the latest energy-sapping episode of the Xaw Files X Files comedy parody thrilling travel quest adventure across Eurasia, starting in Russia. This episode continues the Fyodor DostoyevskyWallace and Gromit narrative, with Gromitov revealing a brand new lead for greenYgrey to follow in its search for our Andy Warhol.

Hi, it’s G.G. Howling, fiction correspondent at the greenYgrey inspired by J.K. Rowling in the human world, and here’s episode 14:

XaW Files Chapter 1 Episode 14

Gromitov offered me some potato klotskis that looked just cooked. I asked why it was in prison. It motioned to me as if to say hold on. Then it shape-shifted into a greenYgrey were-dog, before saying ‘It’s not only greenYgreys that can chameleonise and shapeshift. Moreover, that’s exactly why I’m in prison.’

Gromitov Speaks of Gromit

Gromitov told me its name and said it couldn’t speak in its dog form. I said that reminded me of a dog star in Blighty called Gromit, who got up to lots of wacky escapades with its partner Wallace.

Gromitov said that he had seen it on television, and thought that he was indeed a long-lost relation. He said he thought Gromit had lost his shape-shifting knowledge, and that’s why he stays in dog form and never talks.

More About Me

Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit...

Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (video game) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I finished the bowl of klotskis and thanked Gromitov. He asked if I wanted more, and I said okay, because I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten… and couldn’t be bothered looking back through my notes!

Gromitov asked what I was doing in Omsk, so far from Blighty. I told him about my already epic adventure, journeying from the north-east of Siberia here to Omsk, on the western edge of Siberia.

I finished with my Omsk tale, explaining that I’d awoken near an underground plumber, who’d advised me in his Notes from Underground to search through Dostoyevsky books in the library for information about Andy Wolfhol.

I told Gromitov I had read several interesting books, but none that really helped me in my seach for ol’ Wolfhol, whose most notable characteristic is of course his catchphrase ‘Wolf not War’.

Gromitov on Pluto from Plato

Magical Pluto

Magical Pluto (Photo credit: JD Hancock)

Gromitov looked at me with a dog-eared expression, before reaching for a book of Pluto quotes, while explaining to me that Pluto was the dog version of the legendary Greek philosopher Plato.

Gromitov seemed to know what he was looking for, as he quickly leafed through to a certain page. He showed me the quote, while saying the wise old Pluto had said 2500 years ago that ‘Only the dead have seen the end of war.’

So he thought that if Andy Wolfhol was indeed focusing his philosophy on ‘Wolf not War’ he was probably barking up the wrong tree.

The Idiot by Dostoyevsky

Cover of "The Idiot"

Cover of The Idiot

Gromitov said he therefore thought the plumber’s Notes from Underground must be referring to Dostoyevsky’s The Idiot.

I said that was a bit harsh, as ol’ Wolfhol was the head honcho of greenYgrey creation before his disappearance.

Gromitov chuckled, before saying the book’s title did not mean the protagonist Muttkin was completely stupid. Rather, it referred to his troubled mind.

Return to the Werewolf of Oz

Gromitov added that it was a shame he didn’t have a copy, because the more he thought about it, the more he thought it would be useful to me.

I said I might have a plan forming, because my ol’ travel companion mate from Oz, Bonzo Scottie, once showed me how to do a Jailbreak while we were sat around a particularly evocative bush telly in the South Australia outback.

References

Klotskis are Russian dumplings.
Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s The Idiot. The protagonist was called Myshkin.
Plato quote: ‘Only the dead have seen the end of war’.
Nick Park and Aardman’s Wallace and Gromit had an episode called Curse of the Were-RabbitIt also turned Plato into Pluto, for Gromit reading The Republic.
AC/DC with Bon Scott song Jailbreak.

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