X Files Comedy Parody Reveals The Idiot

The fiction is forming fick and fast in the latest energy-sapping episode of the Xaw Files X Files comedy parody thrilling travel quest adventure across Eurasia, starting in Russia. This episode continues the Fyodor DostoyevskyWallace and Gromit narrative, with Gromitov revealing a brand new lead for greenYgrey to follow in its search for our Andy Warhol.

Hi, it’s G.G. Howling, fiction correspondent at the greenYgrey inspired by J.K. Rowling in the human world, and here’s episode 14:

XaW Files Chapter 1 Episode 14

Gromitov offered me some potato klotskis that looked just cooked. I asked why it was in prison. It motioned to me as if to say hold on. Then it shape-shifted into a greenYgrey were-dog, before saying ‘It’s not only greenYgreys that can chameleonise and shapeshift. Moreover, that’s exactly why I’m in prison.’

Gromitov Speaks of Gromit

Gromitov told me its name and said it couldn’t speak in its dog form. I said that reminded me of a dog star in Blighty called Gromit, who got up to lots of wacky escapades with its partner Wallace.

Gromitov said that he had seen it on television, and thought that he was indeed a long-lost relation. He said he thought Gromit had lost his shape-shifting knowledge, and that’s why he stays in dog form and never talks.

More About Me

Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit...

Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (video game) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I finished the bowl of klotskis and thanked Gromitov. He asked if I wanted more, and I said okay, because I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten… and couldn’t be bothered looking back through my notes!

Gromitov asked what I was doing in Omsk, so far from Blighty. I told him about my already epic adventure, journeying from the north-east of Siberia here to Omsk, on the western edge of Siberia.

I finished with my Omsk tale, explaining that I’d awoken near an underground plumber, who’d advised me in his Notes from Underground to search through Dostoyevsky books in the library for information about Andy Wolfhol.

I told Gromitov I had read several interesting books, but none that really helped me in my seach for ol’ Wolfhol, whose most notable characteristic is of course his catchphrase ‘Wolf not War’.

Gromitov on Pluto from Plato

Magical Pluto

Magical Pluto (Photo credit: JD Hancock)

Gromitov looked at me with a dog-eared expression, before reaching for a book of Pluto quotes, while explaining to me that Pluto was the dog version of the legendary Greek philosopher Plato.

Gromitov seemed to know what he was looking for, as he quickly leafed through to a certain page. He showed me the quote, while saying the wise old Pluto had said 2500 years ago that ‘Only the dead have seen the end of war.’

So he thought that if Andy Wolfhol was indeed focusing his philosophy on ‘Wolf not War’ he was probably barking up the wrong tree.

The Idiot by Dostoyevsky

Cover of "The Idiot"

Cover of The Idiot

Gromitov said he therefore thought the plumber’s Notes from Underground must be referring to Dostoyevsky’s The Idiot.

I said that was a bit harsh, as ol’ Wolfhol was the head honcho of greenYgrey creation before his disappearance.

Gromitov chuckled, before saying the book’s title did not mean the protagonist Muttkin was completely stupid. Rather, it referred to his troubled mind.

Return to the Werewolf of Oz

Gromitov added that it was a shame he didn’t have a copy, because the more he thought about it, the more he thought it would be useful to me.

I said I might have a plan forming, because my ol’ travel companion mate from Oz, Bonzo Scottie, once showed me how to do a Jailbreak while we were sat around a particularly evocative bush telly in the South Australia outback.

References

Klotskis are Russian dumplings.
Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s The Idiot. The protagonist was called Myshkin.
Plato quote: ‘Only the dead have seen the end of war’.
Nick Park and Aardman’s Wallace and Gromit had an episode called Curse of the Were-RabbitIt also turned Plato into Pluto, for Gromit reading The Republic.
AC/DC with Bon Scott song Jailbreak.

Commonwealth Games Tour de France Satirical Comedy Sports Report

Glasgow 2014 has now officially taken over from Edinburgh marathon 2004 in the greenYgrey world as the greatest Scottish sporting event this century. This was after Mike Shelley cancelled out Marc Latham’s Edinburgh marathon appearance by gYgbooing (greenYgrey boomerang) to victory in the Australian green and gold on a dreich morning in Glasgow that was kind to the marathon runners.

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams with a satirical comedy sports report from Glasgow, where the 2014 Commonwealth Games has been enjoying a wonderful welcome under super sunny summer skies.

Glasgow Commonwealth Games 2014

There was a more predictable Kenyan 1-2 in the women’s marathon,  with Flomena Cheyech Daniel winning ahead of Caroline Kilel.

In the women’s triathlon West Midlands’s Jodie Stimpson took gold for England, and in the men’s triathlon there was an epic 1-2 for England’s Brownlee Brothers, Alistair and Jonathan.

Tour de France Finish

The Tour de France ended in Paris on Sunday just over three weeks after a glorious start in Yorkshire. Vincenzo Nibali led when the Tour left Yorkshire after two days, as reported on this here blog.

Nibali celebrated with a gYgboo in the saddle that day, and pulled off a phenomenal standing gYgboo with the help of the Paris organisers after accepting the 2014 Tour de France trophy.

Werewolf of Oz Connection

The Shelley win and Nibali platform background reminded Grey of its epic endurance trek virtually travelling across all regions of Oz, immortalised in Werewolf of Oz: Fantasty Travel by Google Maps.

Link for Amazon book and kindle.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.

Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.

 

Mirror Poem and Philosophical Poetry Decisionmaking

Jack Straw was banned from the university union where he’d studied. He was a Labour government politician at the time, and his crime was formulating an immigration policy. Straw had been a radical Marxist at the university in his youth. This  fact introduces a mirror poem and poetic philosophy about the dilemmas of decision-making.

The Problem with Decisions

We sit in the shade and drink lemonade

We sit in the shade and drink lemonade (Photo credit: @sage_solar)

The problem with being in a decision-making job like being a politician is that your decision is usually going to please somebody or one group of people, and displease somebody else or another group of people.

It’s easier to hold on to your opinions if you never become a decision-maker. Protest groups on the right or left, or specialist issue groups, can often remain focused on their objectives without making decisions. This is even largely true for political opposition parties.

Political Decision-making 

It’s usually only when politicians get into power that the trouble begins, as they have to try and please everybody, or at least look as if they are doing this.

Usually this means helping your core support while hoping that the benefits also spill over into the wider community. Conservative Party Logo

Has the Conservatives-Democrats coalition helped the rich too much, and have their policies helped or hindered the U.K. economic recovery, which this week escaped recession?

Did New Labour help their traditional working-class core support when they were last in power, or did they largely neglect them?

Will the British environment survive right-wing neglect (remember the Conservatives tree?) or left-wing immigration; or maybe a better question would be: which will provide its slower choking?

These are questions the British populace will be deciding on next year in the general election. Will they decide from personal circumstances, or how they view the country as a whole? Or from historic allegiance versus new dynamics? The local versus the world? Only time will tell…

Che Guevara mural

Che Guevara mural (Photo credit: Contrabland)

Returning to the opening paragraph of this blog post, another old socialist hated ambiguity according to Jorge Castaneda’s Companero biography. Che Guevara stuck to his Marxist youth, but became disillusioned after upsetting most of his Cuban comrades before suffering a spectacular lonely fall… near his Argentina homeland… but rose again in death to become an icon for eternity.

Jack Straw had a less spectacular fall, with New Labour voted out of power. One of the main issues that is supposed to have lost Straw’s party their power was not enough of an immigration policy.

Personal Decision-making

Thankfully, the greenYgrey is not involved with human politics, although it is probably rewarding and fun at times. We have enough trouble trying to keep our WWW wolves, women and working-class happy, as their interests often overlap.

English: Decisions Decisions (Horton, Point or...

English: Decisions Decisions (Horton, Point or Green) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So we usually just have to make personal decisions. Personal decision-making can also be as problematic and stressful. This probably multiplies with the amount of family and friends you have to consider, but on an individual level it can usually be divided into major or minor decisions.

Through the terrific multiple choice time-travel technology we have here at the greenYgrey we have examples of both major and minor decision-making dilemmas poems and philosophy from the past and present.

Moreover, we won’t even ask you to make a decision about which one is best. You can just continue enjoying your Sunday, without having to overload your brain with yet another decision.

Our reward was finding a great greenYgrey decision-making image, with the Y represented by a forking road, which has then just reminded us of Stan Boardman‘s Fokker joke, which we must warn you could be seen as deriving hilarious historic humour from a swear word, but we have decided to share it with you here, to lighten this long and largely serious decision-making blog post:

New Mirror Poem

Marc Latham’s new Folding Mirror poem deals with minor domestic decision-making, providing a microscopic commentary on deciding whether to risk spilling a hot drink with an effortless movement, or play safe with the drink through a long and extended acquisition. Here’s the poem preceded by the greenYgrey forking road image, which has absolutely no connection to Boardman’s Fokker joke:

One Coffee One Decision : One Movement One Drink

full mug of coffee
just out of reach
of my left arm
weighed down by poetry
waiting to be written
in computer balanced on lap

should I rise to be sure, or stretch and risk spilling drink

confident brain side persuades head
reaching for the handle
rising up make contact
finger and thumb grasp
unsure wobble to mouth
drink before safe landing

Decision-making Philosophical Poem

The above poem was inspired by reaching for a decaffeinated tea, as Marc Latham explains on fmpoetry.wordpress.com, and created in no time without much other thought.

However, Marc was a-were in the days preceding that poem that the next reflection to be serialised from 242 Mirror Poems and Reflections concerns decision-making, so maybe that was in his unconscious brimming up into the conscious as he reached for the drink while in the fmpoetry site.

Reflection 22 is about major decision-making though, and maybe I’m just making a connection about two very different decision-making mental processes for the purposes of this blog.

I asked Marc Latham about it, and he said he couldn’t decide. You might not be surprised to read that Marc is still on his life crossroads too, still walking a little way in each direction… or maybe he’s living that decision without knowing it… that is after all, in line with greenYgrey thinking!

Here’s reflection 22, which mirrored Multitasking Medley in 242 Mirror Poems and Reflections. Multitasking Medley was posted on  fmpoetry.wordpress.com in February 2012. (Sorry about all the links and references, but it’s been a much longer blog than expected. That happened spontaneously, like Jack Kerouac’s spontaneous prose, without making a decision! Sometimes it’s better to just go with the flow and see where it leads, like to the hot drink poem and forking road image; sometimes it’s better to make a decision before you start. Which is best overall? You decide!)

Been walking
around the mountain
looking for a clear path
enjoying the view
now it’s getting late
time’s running out
fog’s forming
need to make a decision
or just keep rambling
to the end.

To end this ultimately epic blog, here’s a more natural Y, which is of course at the centre of greenYgrey decision-making thinking… this is really my final decision, and last word.

Smashwords cover

Alexandria Morgan in TomTom Runner Cardio Banned Advert

Hi, it’s Harry Silhouetteof-Wolfhowlingonhill, satirical comedy television correspondent at the greenYgrey inspired by Harry Hill in the human world.

You may wonder what this banned Alexandria Morgan running in a TomTom Runner Cardio advert has to do with the greenYgrey world… apart from the star being the ideal candidate for a full on greenYgrey advert.

I don’t want to give too much away, or keep you in suspense, so all I can say is, wait to the end for a great greenYgrey surprise.

Fantasy Fiction Travel in Dostoyevsky’s Omsk with Gromit

Hi, it’s G.G. Howling, satirical comedy fiction writing correspondent at the greenYgrey, inspired by legendary fiction writer J.K. Rowling. I’m delighted to report that after a day of troubled writing inspired by Fyodor Dostoyevsky and Nick Park the greenYgrey managed to send its latest thrilling instalment of the XaW Files from its epic virtually real ramble across Eurasia.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky - Notes from Underground

Fyodor Dostoyevsky – Notes from Underground (Photo credit: lungstruck)

After traveling from Tomsk to Omsk, it looks like its got bogged down in the art and literature flowing out of from the underground into the Russian ‘Golden Age’. Here it is:

XaW Files Chapter 1 Episode 13

Anxious about my Omsk situation
Tomsk past erased, future trepidation
the plumber didn’t make another sound
but passed me Notes From Underground.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky Influence

I took the notes from the plumber. They said I should go to the P.M. Dostoevsky Literary Museum library and read as much Fyodor Dostoyevsky as possible, for there may well be clues there to help in the search for Andy Wolfhol.

I thanked the plumber, and wished him luck in Omsk. He returned the greeting.

At the library I found out that Dostoyevsky was a political prisoner in Omsk from 1850 to 1854, suffering terrible conditions that later inspired his book, The House of the Dead.

Dostoyevsky’s The Double

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Photo credit: Bruno Amaral™)

I became engrossed in Dostoyevsky’s The Double, which I thought had a lot of relevance for my life as the greenYgrey; when we were just green and grey; because I am now of course a treble.

According to Wikipedia, The Double ‘deals with the internal psychological struggle of its main character, Yakov Petrovich Golyadkin, who repeatedly encounters someone who is his exact double in appearance but confident, aggressive, and extroverted, characteristics that are the polar opposites to those of the toadying “pushover” protagonist.’ A British film adaptation by Richard Ayoade was released last year.

Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment

I felt that The Double was definitely of value to me and my search for Andy Wolfhol, so I decided to read another Dostoyevsky book. I chose Crime and Punishment.

English: Russian State Library and Fyodor Dost...

I was enjoying the psychological tale of murder and guilt trials and tribulations until reading on Wikipedia that yellow ‘is used throughout the novel to signify suffering and mental illness.’

My Yellow started panicking, wondering if it was suffering a mental illness, which set Grey off panicking about whether Green was still its more glamorous double.

We started spinning around in a greenYgrey whirl, and the next thing I remember was awakening in a prison cell.

Wallace and Gromit‘s Crime and Punishment

I was sharing a cell with a grey dog reading a yellow book. The cell walls were green, and the bars were grey.

The dog was reading Crime and Punishment, by Fido Dogstoyevsky, so I thought it must be a deep-thinking dog.

The dog lifted its head from the book, welcomed me to the cell, and introduced himself as Gromitov Omsk.

References

Fyodor Dostoyevsky novels: Notes From Underground, The House of the Dead, The Double and Crime and Punishment.
Gromit was jailed for sheep rustling in Wallace and Gromit’s A Close Shave.

Link for Amazon book and kindle.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.

Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.